Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
