After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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