I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize