My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
