Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
