thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
