3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
