Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
