I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
