you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
