I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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