He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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