he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
