the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
