What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
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