What did we do last night that was yellow?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
