i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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