I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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