gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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