So drunk its hurt
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I can't turn off my feet"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
