I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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