remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
