can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
