just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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