Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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