i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
