Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you never un-have a 4some
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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