what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
