He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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