Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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