I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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