I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
