so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
