Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
