Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
