just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It was confusing and full of hummus
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
