probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
