She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
