I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
