I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
