Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
