I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
