this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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