Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
