He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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