My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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