just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
