whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
