i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
