sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize