I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
