I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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