awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
