so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
