Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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