am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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