dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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