You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I hate all girls vehemently.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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