PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
