She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
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Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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