Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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